My Own Worst Critic

When it comes to entertainment, most specifically movies and TV shows, I find myself to be quite a harsh critic, just ask my wife. After nearly every movie we watch together she asks me how I liked it. My typical response: it was pretty good. This is my calculated reply saying that the movie was so-so, alright, okay, something along those lines. And in case you were wondering, most movies out there receive this rating from me.

Why, you ask? Well, I’m not so sure. I perceive it may just be my low tolerance for mediocrity in entertainment. If it doesn’t wow, amaze, or make me really think about it, then I can’t give it a five star mental review. But, of course that’s just me. The film and TV show industries thrive off of making, in my opinion, mediocre productions all because most people like that sort of thing. And that is perfectly okay. I don’t want to go bashing anyone who enjoys sappy romances, cliched  dramas, and typical action films. That is not my place to judge (Though, don’t even get me started on soap operas! ughhhh).

Maybe I’m not as easily wowed as most people out there. Maybe it’s me. Yes, most likely there is something wrong with me.

Anyway, when it comes to myself, most specifically me, myself, and I, I find that I am my own worst critic, the harshest of them all. Even right now, I am calculating just how great this blog post is going to be and whether or not I should abandon writing it all together (For the reader’s sake, I will fight against this pressing feeling and post it, even if it truly sucks! Because who doesn’t love a crappy blog post?). Being such a difficult critic against myself, is by far the greatest enemy I face, especially when it comes to doing what I love, whether it’s writing or playing the drums. My own harshness can, at times, tear me down so much that I end up losing all faith in the project and put it on the shelf. I nearly did that several times with the writing and editing of my almost-finished novel. I would begin reworking a segment or touching up a chapter and then all of a sudden realize just how bad the story was and want to just throw it out altogether, hours and hours of work gone in seconds.

Thankfully that never happened. I’ll admit, there were times when I’d set the project aside for months on end because I had lost my desire for it, thinking that I’d never get anywhere with it, or that it could never be good enough. But each time I always came back to it. I knew it was meant to be written. I finally, very recently, realized that the story might actually be very good, and not just “pretty good,” as I so frequently label things.

All in all, being my own worst critic can downright devastate me at times, but it has also, in a way, helped me to strive above mediocrity. I don’t want to write just another novel, or be just an average musician, I want to be great; not in my own abilities themselves but in the songs that I play and the stories that I tell.

Thank you, reader, for following my ever messy and tumultuous journey.

Love unlimited!

C.J. Huffman

Inspiration’s Well

For the longest time I’ve desired to share what inspires me as a writer.  But up until now, I’ve never had a proper place to do just that.  As I begin diving into the vast, entangled webs of the internet in a possibly vain attempt to reach forth and spread my wings as an author, I want to begin sharing my journey with you.

I may not have a whole volume of material to write about in regards to my life and subsequent experiences as a human being, but I’ve realized that is okay.  Everyone has their own story to share even if it’s not an outlier found amid a billion human observations.  Many of us walk the same trodden paths our ancestors once did in their own lives.  The human life is still solely based on the same principles of previous generations.  Sure, technology changes, society changes, government changes, but the very inner, intimate human principles do not.  What truly makes a person an individual, a lone unit on the graph, is how they handle the things that inspire them in their everyday life.

For me, my inspiration has come from a rather common yet misunderstood and highly complex mental illness affecting millions of people: depression.

Continue reading “Inspiration’s Well”

Hello Cyber-Ocean!

The decision has been made, the choice has been determined. There’s no turning back, not now, not… ever.

Well, actually I could easily delete this new blog and pretend it was never created; erase it from my memories, never to be seen or heard of again. But alas, I’ve made the choice to join the aging blogging world. (Crazy? Absolutely!)

I’ve considered the thought for quite a few years now.  I even created a blog account many seasons ago (I think), but it has been lost in the never-static waves of the cyber-ocean, forever drifting among long lost Youtube celebrities, Myspace bands, and dial-up users.  So, today marks the new beginning of a young writer’s journey to embark on the crazy, tumultuous expedition known as “Blogging,” all the while with only the use of a small, plank-built raft and one lousy oar. (Wish me luck!)

Love Unlimited

C.J. Huffman